Prisoner

Just wanted to share something I wrote a while ago. Here’s Prisoner. 

10.22.17 • 10:25pm

I live in a box.

My windows aren’t two-paned. 

I can see out, but the world can’t see me. 

I struggle to breathe. 

I can’t do this. 

I can’t do that. 

If I do this, it’s wrong. 

If I do that, it’s worse. 

If I do nothing, it’s uncalled for. 

I am trapped inside a bubble. 

One wrong step and my life explodes. 

Bursts into anger, into fear. 

I fall hard, deep into a pit. 

Pit. 

Pit stop, isn’t that a rescue point?

Somewhere to reframe yourself and get back on track?

Wrong. 

Pits of depression. 

Bouts of angst. 

Fists of fury. 

Blade to… Stop. Put it away.

Reaching out for help. 

Can’t you hear me?

I’m grasping at straws,

gasping for air. 

I am a prisoner and I can’t find the key. 

Gatekeeper? I’m calling out to you. 

Dear Lord guide me straight. 

Don’t let me fall to the side. 

Help me fight this avalanche. 

Show me the sunshine in a smile. 

Bring me the breeze of a happy spring day. 

Let me be me and escape this crazy…dream?

No. 

Nightmare. 

Force this awful scene away from me. 

Push me to my limits of gaining strength. 

Release this prisoner,

please set me free. 

SJ, Oct. 2017